2011. 2011. 2011. 2 0 1 1.
It just doesn’t look like a year to me. It looks more like the non-word "zoll." BUT. Moving on. Here’s my obligatory list of big events of 2010:
1. GRADUATION
Yay, I’m a graduate!
At the ceremony I had vaguely blue hair and I had cut up and resewn my gown again, so that was classy of me.
It wasn’t too bad, really. My hair was more of a greyish brown than full-on blue (apparently the “semi-permanent” in “semi-permanent hair dye” doesn’t mean it’ll wash out completely in a couple of months, it means it’ll mostly wash out in two weeks and then stay a weird, dull, faded color for about a half a year more. Live and learn). Plus my cap covered the worst of it, where my dyed hair met my not-dyed roots and formed a nice little halo around my head. It was only noticeable when I was all, “HEY LOOK MY HAIR’S STILL SORT OF BLUE ISN’T THAT FUNNY!?”
Which I did do a few times.
And I did do a pretty good impersonation of a seamstress, if I do say so myself. Especially considering my last attempt to sew was when I, as a kid, threaded two pieces of scrap fabric together ever so carefully, then cut the thread ever so neatly, and showed my mom ever so proudly.
Then she laughed at me because I hadn’t realized I was supposed to tie the end of the thread before cutting it, so my masterpiece was already falling apart.
I cried.
AND I NEVER SEWED AGAIN.
Until this June of 2010 when I ignored the recommendations of all who said, “MAKE SURE YOUR GOWN IS THE RIGHT SIZE BEFORE PAYING FOR IT BECAUSE ONCE YOU LEAVE THAT ROOM IT IS YOURS FOREVER AND YOU CANNOT TRADE IT FOR THE RIGHT SIZE NO MATTER HOW WEIRDLY IT FITS, KENDRA!”
I think the real problem, though, is that I’ve been lying about my height since high school. I’m somewhere between 5’9’’ and 5’9 1/2’’, but it’s just easier to say 5’10’’, and I used to play basketball, where sounding taller is never a bad thing. So I still just say 5’10’’ out of habit.
One time maybe junior year of college I measured myself with a tape measure. It said I was 5’8 1/2’’, which IS LIES I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.
Anyway, the point is that when I was filling out the form for my graduation gown, my pride grabbed the pen from out my hand and marked the 5’10’’-6’0’’ box instead of the perhaps (definitely) more accurate 5’7’’-5’9’’ box for me.
And then I didn’t bother to try the robe on carefully before leaving the room with it.
This left me with a far too flowing graduation gown.
AND SO I HAD TO FIX IT.
I went and bought myself a little sewing kit from Rite Aid, grabbed my scissors, and set to work cutting off the bottom of my robe. I was very very careful and I remembered to tie the thread when I finished, and the result was at least nearing what one might consider decent. I ended up actually overcompensating and making it a little too short, and by the time I finished the bottom hem, I was sick of sewing (it is time consuming!) so I just left the sleeves long (and they proceeded to get caught on the banister both on my way up onto the stage and back down from the stage during the ceremony). But whatever. I had something to be proud of at my graduation the next day.
Whether that something was my newfound mediocre sewing abilities or the diploma in my hands, I think we’ll never know for sure.
2. MOVING MOVING MOVING
I now live 7 hours away from where I’ve lived all my life.
It’s a little bit weird.
3. BECOMING A BONA FIDE EMPLOYEE
The last couple of months of college were terrifying because I was all, “OH MY GOODNESS THE SAFETY OF SCHOOL IS ENDING NOW I HAVE TO GET A REAL JOB AND SUPPORT MYSELF WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!?”
And then I graduated.
And then I moved 7 hours away from home and people and so I had ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to fill out applications and pretend like I know how to dress nicely and go to interviews.
AND THEN I GOT A JOB.
And I like the job too.
It even came with a name tag.
(My apologies for this less than awe-inspiring picture of a name tag. My mouse decided it was done for the day, then my computer froze, then my picture of a name tag shut itself down, and so HERE WE ARE.)
HAPPY 2011, y’all.
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